Didn't have the chance to catch this in the theaters, mostly because of the critical beating and box office bomb it ended up (26% on RT and only grossed $10 mil on a $35 mil budget...yikes). But everyone I talked to who saw it said how insanely violent and silly it was. So of course both the masses and the asswipe critics got it wrong. What a shocker. I really don't have much as far as an introduction goes here so I'll delve right into my rambling.
This movie was a bloody mess. And I don't mean that like an British guy means "bloody mess". I mean a literal mess of blood. It was great. The first action scene was one of the most indulgent, violent, over-the-top bloody sequences I have ever seen. Faces were being kicked in, I don't know how many necks were broken, and body parts were being shot off. The scene consisted of Castle busting into some mob guy's banquet, turning off the lights, lighting a flare, and just going apeshit. This first scene essentially was what the movie was all about. Bullets and blood. There were masses of faceless bad guys just pouring into every scene and getting savagely murdered by Castle.
The movie didn't say why, it just let it go balls to the wall. I hate saying a movie was "fun" because I always envision some douchebag, giggly assholes enjoying something like Paul Blart: Mall Cop, but this movie was fun. When I say fun I don't mean fun for the whole family. I mean fun as in I was cracking up at the cacophony of ultra-violent kills. Two of my favorite scenes was when an FBI agent calls the local cops a bunch of "Krispy Kreme motherfuckers" and some parkour asshole got blown up by a rocket in mid jump.
I was a huge fan of the first one (even though it had John Travolta in it) and was hoping for a direct sequel to that. Obviously that didn't happen, apparently Thomas Jane (who played Frank Castle/The Punisher in the first one) didn't feel like waiting around forever after the numerous delays and rewrites. Fair enough. I really like Thomas Jane as an actor and thought he played an excellent Frank Castle. His acting ability really fit the vibe of the origin story and after having seen this, I don't think it would have worked as well. Ray Stevenson did a great job, but it was a very different Punisher. Hell he didn't have a line until minute 25 of the movie. Not in a bad way though. This was more about the violent nature of the character than his mental issues. Stevenson's better for that. He looks like a bad motherfucker entirely capable and willing to literally punch your face in. Which he did. Literally. Just as I couldn't envision Jane in this one, I can't see Stevenson in the first one. Not a knock on either guys, but it was just a radically different side of the story. Unfortunately, neither of the films did very well at the box office and since that's the only thing that matters in Hollywood, this is probably the last we'll see of The Punisher unless they decide to reboot.
A buddy of mine said it perfectly, "it's the perfect do nothing movie." A movie I could watch anytime and laugh at how silly and violent it is. One thing that annoyed the living hell out of me was the acting by Doug Hutchinson. He played the bad guy's brother and made me want to drive a fork into my eye in every scene he was in. There's a difference between funny bad acting and enragingly bad acting. This was the latter. He clearly didn't know how to intentionally act bad, so there was this almost big tongued, retard quality to him that was driving me insane. He did a terrible Italian accent and had an infuriating snicker every three seconds. It wasn't funny ham acting. It was shit. I guess that's the risk inherent with a movie like this. Some people won't get it. That includes actors too. Same applies to the jackass critics who bashed it because of it's violent nature. It's an R-rated movie, it's going to be violent. I usually don't quote horribly unfunny reviews, but my morbid enjoyment of jokes bombing won out. This gem comes from Clark Collins from Entertainment Weekly regarding Ray Stevenson's performance, "his character could be called the Not-Much-of-a-Learning Curveinator." Get it?!?!? Oh Clark, you card, you!!!
Bottom line: While stylistically different from its 2004 predecessor, Punisher: War Zone knows exactly what it's doing and does it well; rack up a massive body count in hilarious and gruesome ways.
Overall score: 7 out of 10
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